It’s something every author in their career faces—the debut or “first” published novel. You’ve probably read the book blurbs where it’s proudly announced that this is the author’s debut. Sometimes it leaves me astounded at the quality of the work. It’s even more impressive when the novel is excellent and self-published because it shows the raw, undeveloped talent the author has.
But why does it feel like debut novels are treated like debutants at a ball? Our books are dressed in white, floating down the charts of Amazon Kindle Unlimited, sizing each other up and hoping they don’t trip and fail.
Maybe it’s just me that feels that way, but the pressure of getting it “right” the first time is sometimes crippling. I read and consume a lot of content about self-publishing. Advice ranges from:
“Just get it done and published. The first pancake never turns out anyway, right?”
to
“Don’t stain your name with a bad book. Keep working at it until it’s right.”
But which is right, and where do I land on this spectrum?
Balancing Progress with Perfection
“Perfection” is something I struggle with across many facets of my life. I think it comes from a high “give a dang” driving the need to put excellence out there. I’m also risk-averse, so taking a shot and failing isn’t always palatable to me.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that perfection is never achieved. (Wow, astonishing, right?) And that this world is full of people simply winging it. Your boss? Winging it. Your parents? Winging it. Your teacher? Winging it. Maybe they’re not winging it all the time, but the quicker you realize that the adults in the room probably don’t have all the answers, the easier it is to reconcile with the notion of failure.
I think it’s okay to expect a lot from yourself. Without expectations, you’d just be a blob on the couch and never amount to your God-given potential. But it’s important to recognize when the perfection you’re expecting is halting progress.
Don’t Get Stuck In the Revision Black Hole
Over the ten years that I’ve been working on my debut novel, progress has looked very different. Ten years seems like a lot, but when you set the book aside for a year at a time, it goes fast. Balancing a full-time job, family obligations, and friendships while attempting a side hustle involves some give and take. Have I worked on the book every day for ten years? Absolutely not. But throughout this time, progress is always being made, even if it’s just an idea written down in my notes app instead of busting out 1,000 new words.
One piece that always seems to stall any progress is the black hole of revisions. When I’ve gone a long time without writing, I tend to go back to the beginning to read what I’ve done so far. It makes sense, the need to recall the details of the story, but it’s hard to resist the call of the revision. My fingers and brain ache to correct something that I once thought was great, but now cringe at. This has led to a cycle of write and revise and write and revise and on and on and on until I’m crippled by the idea of publishing a book that isn’t good enough to win me a Pulitzer’s Prize on the first try.
They’ll Never Read It If You Don’t Publish It
I’ve reached a point where I’m trying really hard to call myself a published author. I need to push my novel, dressed in white, out into the swirl of dancing debutants. Am I ready? Is the debutant ever ready? Do we really think the greatest authors of our time fail to find a fault in their books they wish to revise?
No, there will never be a point where this book is perfection. And that’s okay. But I’m not going to push a bad pancake out there either. I’m going to continue working towards the goal, maintaining a pace that keeps me focused and not stuck in fear of it not being perfect. Afterall if you don’t publish the book, no one will ever read it. How many hard drives do you think are full of unpublished works? That’s sadder to me than the 1-star “dnf” review I know I’m sure to get on my debut novel.
Be A Work In Progress
What are you struggling to accomplish because you know you won’t be able to do it perfectly? What steps can you take that progress you towards the goal without demanding perfection every step of the way? I pray you find peace in striking a balance between perfection and progress. It’s certainly still a “work in progress” for me.
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